saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You made out with two different species that night
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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