:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
