sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
