is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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