I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
