I'm drive I can fine osifer
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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