Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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