come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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