There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
