I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
