To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
ugly people sure do ruin things
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
