just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
