Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
