So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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