the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
