So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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