i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
birth control should be required to get into college
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
