I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
i black out too much to be "responsible"
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
