so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
