Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
no. you can't hotbox the world.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
