I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
