Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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