Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize