He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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