My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
