I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
