I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
