sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
