trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
