Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
