Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
