He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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