Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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