ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
