It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I queefed so loud it echoed.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
