she looked like the bat from fern gully.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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