My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize