Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize