Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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