We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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