Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
