my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
