Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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