I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
