May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i just had sex bonerless
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
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