He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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