Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize