..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
