im drinking this country out of the recession.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
why does every cop we meet know your name?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize