why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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