You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
