You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
