im holly from the hills drunk
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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