why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
