This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
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