flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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