so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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