from now on my penis is your penis
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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