I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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