she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
