it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
